It is with mixed emotions that we announce the passing of Sagging Pants, aged 30-ish, who hung on much longer than anyone anticipated. Sagging Pants first fell into our lives in the 1990s, making a low entrance from the streets, boldly defying belts, waistbands, and common sense. Known for showing more than it covered, Sagging Pants was once the rebellious fashion statement no one asked for, but everyone saw (whether they wanted to or not).Sagging Pants rose to fame with help from its best friends, hip-hop culture and baggy shorts, forever etching the image of boxers into the minds of unsuspecting passersby. Despite frequent tugs and adjustments, Sagging Pants stayed committed to keeping things below the belt (way below). Many tried to help pull it up, but Sagging Pants preferred to remain on the edge—sometimes literally. Sagging Pants started off in prison, but became quite popular when they got out with the teenage boys in the high school hallways. Although they became popular with the high school boys hitting puberty, they also became popular with music icons like Tupac and Biggie, symbolized going against fashion norms. They represented rebellion and individual fashion styles, as well as inspiring many other fashion styles that still exist. Sagging Pants is survived by its cousins, Skinny Jeans, Joggers, and High-Waisted Everything, which have graciously stepped in to restore dignity to waists everywhere. In its later years, Sagging Pants began to feel the strain of trying to stay relevant, often overshadowed by trends that valued both comfort and the ability to walk upstairs without tripping. Funeral services will be held at a local mall, where mourners are encouraged to wear pants at an appropriate height. In lieu of flowers, please donate belts to those still struggling with wardrobe malfunctions.
Rest in peace, Sagging Pants. You hung in there—literally.
